Metroid Jokes

Gaming Metroid
41

And now, I present to you:

METROID BLOOPERS!!

–

RIDLEY APPEARANCE
TAKE 1

Director: Action!
Samus: enters Ridley’s boss chamber
Ridley (not seen yet): Hahahahaha!!
Samus: What?! Aims arm cannon around room Who are you?!
Ridley: (appears in a puff of black smoke) I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE-
Samus: Finish that and I WILL tear off your wings.
Director: CUT!!!

–

KRAID FIGHT SCENE PART 2
TAKE 1

Director: Action!
Samus: DIE KRAID!! attempts to fire
CLICK
CLICKCLICKCLICK
Samus: Crap…
Stage hand: The other button!
Samus: Ohhhh… you mean this one! fires, accidently hits the stage hand in the face
Stage hand: AAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHH!!!
Director: CUUUUUUTT!!! WHO’S IDEA WAS IT TO USE LIVE WEAPONS, ANYWAYS?!!

–

KRAID FIGHT SCENE PART 2
TAKE 2

Director: Action!
Samus: DIE KRA-
Distant voice behind studio door: MAMA MIA! OPEN UP IN THERE!! I NEED HELP!!
Director: CUT!! WHAT THE HECK IS GOING-
door bursts open, a tidle wave of power mushrooms from the Mario series flood through, with a shocked and panicked Mario riding the top of the wave
Samus: AAAAAAAHHHH!! Gets hit by one of them
Director: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! Gets hit by 60 of them
Kraid: AAAAAAARGHHHHH!! Gets hit by 200 of them
Samus: grows twice as large
Director: grows sixty times as large and knocks down several backgrounds and studio equipment in his growth
Kraid: Grows 200 times as large, demolishing the entire Nintendo filming studio from the inside and goes on a rampage through Tokyo
Bystander: LOOK OUT, IT’S KRAIDZILLA!! AAAAAAHHHH!!!
Director: …why me?
Samus: I’m asking that myself…
Director: suddenly yelling MARIO, THIS IS THE METROID SET! THE MARIO WORLD SET IS ON THE 12TH FLOOR!
Mario: D’oh!

–

KRAID FIGHT SCENE PART 2
TAKE 2

Director: Ac- WAIT! CUT!! TECH GUY, WHY DOES THAT ELECTRONIC CLIP BOARD STILL SAY TAKE 2?!
Tech guy: Slight problem, sir. We’ll have it fixed in a jiffy.
Samus: Well, hurry up! We don’t have all day!
Samus 2: Yeah! We’ve got contracts to keep!
Samus: I agree with myself over there! And an- WHA?!
Samus 2: WHAT?!
Tech guy: Oh no…
Director: WHAT THE HELL?! TECH GUY, WHAT’S GOING ON?!
Tech guy 2: We’ve gone into a timewarp because the clipboard showed the same take twice! We each have a copy of ourselves running around!
Director 2: But how?! How does that work?!
Tech guy: It’s because we’re doing the same take twice. It caused more of us to appear!
Samus 2: So how do we fix it?!
Samus: I don’t want to have ANOTHER clone running around!
Tech guy 2: The only way to fix it is by fixing the clipboard to the take it should be on, sending us to the proper point in time! However, we can’t stop the clipboard from going to the next take every minute or so. That means, in a minute, we’ll have another take 2, and there’ll be THREE of each of us!
Director 2: THEN GET TO WORK ON IT THEN! YOU TOO! points to other tech guy

–

KRAID FIGHT SCENE PART 2
TAKE 2

Samus: Oh no…
Samus 3: Yeah, that’s what I thought too.
Samus 2: Me three.
Director: TECH GUY!!
Tech guys 1, 2 and 3: WORKING!!

–

KRAID FIGHT SCENE PART 2
TAKE 2

Directors 1, 2, 3, and 4: TECH GUY, HURRY IT UP!
Tech guy 3: SIR, WE’VE GOT A PROBLEM! THE CLIPBOARD’S ABOUT TO GO OUT OF CONTROL!
Samuses 1, 2, 3, and 4: Aw crap.

KRAID FIGHT SCENE PART 2
TAKE 350314

Director 1021: Holy crap…
Director 341: This is not good.
Director 2: TECH GUUUUUYYY!!
Tech guy 100314: The clipboard just skipped forward a whole crapload! There are now more than three hundred thousand of each of us!
Director 334144: Get to work on fixing it, then!
Tech guy 15: We’re working, all three hundred thousand of us, but we’ve hit a snag: we can’t fix the clipboard. We need to complete the take, all of each of us doing our proper role, to reset us back to the correct take.
Director 621: But there are so many of us! How will we get the message around?
Director 51443: I know! whispers to Samus 5151: We need to each do our own part in the take to get back to normal. Pass it on!
Samus 5151: Whispers to Samus 3141: We nod to each do our own poot in the take to get back to normal!
Samus 3141: Whispers to Samus 2005: We cod to each do our own pot in the flake to get beck to nermal!
Samus 2005: Whispers to Samus 9451: We coddle to etch dew our own purple in the corn flakes to get the dishwasher to lamren!
Samus 9451: Whispers to Samus 2123: We cuddle to mountain dew our own per pull in the jakes to get the purple monkey diswasher to lambda!
Samus 2123: Whispers to Samus 700000: We cobble to maintain our per own pull in the yakes to get the pauper’s monkey to fame!
Director 4: … any other bright ideas?
Director 123: D’oh…
Samus 5105: HEY, EVERYONE! WE NEED TO MAINTAIN THE PULL WITH THE DIE TO GET THE ELEPHANT TO CROSS THE RIVER!
Tech guy 1: …

MORE CRAZY BLOOPERS TO COME!

42

those are good, just long…

43

i dint have the courage to read all, sorry i just read the one of mario uheuhe that was cool, do like me man, divide in parts:

Well,inside the ship, the gang found thenselves in a cage of laser,pappy and fox were terrify,well fox it wasn’t that much, and they could hear what the pirates say but it was just some nonsenses sounds… like:

Pirate1:GRHUAYUTT…

Pirate2:KURUAGHHTTMUKLAAAHGH?

Pirate1:GRHUAYUTT…

Fox(whispering): What they saying?

Samus: The first pirate say that the leader just need me, you two are
useless

Peppy: Hoh mamma…

Fox: What else?

Samus(sam-sung… just kiding): The secound pirate agree and asked if he could get rid of you two

Peppy: Hoh sweet maammaaa…

Fox: What the other said?

Samus: He said: Ok, let me just check with the leader…

*In the exactly moment that she say this,they hear another sound:

Pirates leader: RUGHUOUOAMULAA!

*Peppy pass out

Fox: Geez… not now peppy!!

Samus: so… who you said that was going to see me in the hell?

Fox: You shut up… how we get out of this thing? cant you shoot the hole place?

Samus: Yhea right…my lasers will make a great diference on this laser cage…

Fox: Damit… ok, back off,i’m going to try my ground quake
*Take the staff of the pocket and do the ground quake,BLAMMM! the move just make noise
and call the pirates atention

Fox:Damit… this sitcom is screwing me up!

Samus: YES!! GREAT IDEA!! SCREW!!

Fox: What? what you talking about?!

Samus: Just give me more room…

  • samus do the screw atack and pass without getting hurt by the lasers

Fox: Great! now turn this lasers off

Samus: Bye fox…

Fox: What?! you!!

Samus: hahahah calm donw is a joke, just let me scan some panels and the cage will problaby open…

Fox thinking : wait a secound…scan hability come first time in metroid prime…this game is folowing the history of super metroid… i should not even be talking about smash brothers or scan things yet,because super metroid is in 94…

*Sudently a voice come into his mind: you think this is confused? try imagine that metroid prime is in the past of super metroid, and the scan hability just died while the adventure in zebes happened and reborn now so samus could save your tail…

the confusion will be cutted right off belive me!!

Fox: … hoh…ok…

to be continued … :smiley:

44

Couple of points on that:

  1. Samus has an arm cannon that probably shoots a mix of plasma and energy, not a laser.

  2. Some spellchecking would be nice, since some parts were hard to understand.

  3. Wouldn’t the pirates have disarmed Fox of his staff?

  4. Why is Peppy even flying in the first place? Having Fox have his staff means that it’s after Adventures, and during Adventures and Assault Peppy’s traded in his wings: he’s too old to fly anymore. He’s more of a tactician.

  5. On the same topic of 3, why didn’t the pirates disarm Samus of all her upgrades, her suit, and her arm cannon?

  6. How is Fox aware of the Metroid timeline or even aware that both he and Samus are video game characters? Though, since it’s a joke, this doesn’t really have to be answered.

While I’m on the topic of 3 and 5, let me just say this: Why not turn that into a “Space Pirates Are Stupid” joke in your next installment? Cover up plotholes AND make a joke! Whoops… I just posted that to the world… which means my advice is pretty much voided as everyone knows what you’re going to do if you follow my advice… :blush:

45

Samus: rolls into morphball “Ow! ow! charlie horse!”

Not exactly a joke, but my friend and I like to go into the Impact Crater and let loose the flamethrower on fission metroids while singing, “Metroids roasting on an open fire…”

46

  1. haamw… well when samus leaves zebes she is equiped with the hiper beam…that looks like a laser?

  2. Hoh i forgot to tell you guys,i’m brazilian…so if i fail on the comunication just let me know and i’ll try to fix it

  3. No is very small,remeber starfox adventures how small the staff is? he just get big when he get opened so fox can fight

  4. because nobody wanted to go with fox :smiley:…

  5. because is very hard,she jump and shoot and escape and… hoh…is too work… we are lazy…besides, when i tried i almost got killed… and i will never try it again…not even if master ridley comand me to

  6. I told him about that heheheh i am a bad guy

47

Okay. Most of that was fine, but I still want to respond:

  1. The hyper beam was temporary… and… oh wait, this is DURING the escape sequence. So I guess she’d still have it. Still, I don’t think it’s a laser: Laser is an acroynym for Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation. It would actually be very hard to get a laser to produce that much damage, certainly more power would be required than what Samus’s suit can generate. It would be easier, supportable and more efficient to use plasma or some other form of weaponry… in any case, I think it might be a QuantumSuperPhotonPlasmamabober. Rofl :smiley:. I love technobabble. Anyway, you don’t have to take this too seriously: I’m just pointing this out.

Which reminds me… isn’t the planet or part of the planet about to explode?

  1. Well, that confirms it: I knew you were probably foreign. Which, of course, completely excuses you from any spelling or gramattical errors you might make :smiley:.

  2. You’re right, that thing wasn’t big at all. Fox could have easily concealed it.

  3. Yeah, I’m aware. Still, it was kinda like he was still a pilot: no protests that “I’m too old” or something along those lines etc, but it’s totally up to you what you want to do with that.

  4. Well, you see, if they’ve already captured her then they could have easily removed her weaponry BEFORE putting her in the laser cage… I mean, they’ve already disabled her. She can’t jump, shoot or escape when she’s been knocked unconcious, as the Pirates probably whacked her over the head as she offers no resistance… still, you can answer that any way you want.

  5. Ya got that right >_>. Blast you and your fourth-wall-breaking-character-telling-confusamabuzzler-IforgetwhatIwasgoingtosaynext ways… LOL :smiley:.

Too tired to make more jokies right now… hopefully you’ll get your daily dose of nintendo film crew/space pirate incompetence tommorrow. Night!

48

lmao, jk.

49

I don’t get it in the least bit. Wasn’t even remotely funny. :confused: :neutral_face: :frowning:

50

wat bout dis

samas wa bout too be leaveing to zebith
den escpe seqnce started oh crap so samas
all ruunss awawy and then gose inside hr ship
and blast off planet in distnce crackcarack cararck
planet explodeds samam is with da galatic freds now in hq s hqs office.

hw; why u do that samam arun

samam; brain was a fight planet deistruction in 5 4 2 3 2 1 0 plantex expldes
hq; mison compleated samus arun

dadadadadada samas saves thae day dadadadadada sams saves
plex brinstar from disctrustion 1005 compleatshon rate.

se u next mison. dat remake of endnd of sooper metrode

51

Peppy is old. Old people drive slow. Peppy must go with Fox. Fox must wait for Peppy. That’s as much as I can tell you about that without coming outright and saying the entire explanation.

52

To Jetman: Oh now I get the joke…it still sucks. :sweat:

To Dragon: What in the name of God was that?!?! Were you possessed by a retarded 3 year old or something? I’ve seen better spelling and grammar at a pre-school.

53

Jetman123: theres a several of things that just dont match in my history heheh sorry then,i have no answers besides this one :smiley:

and yhea…you guys are right that one was not funny… but i’ll bet this one will be! here comes the final chapter of …of… hoh yes…of my sitcom film crew/space pirate incompetence !!(i liked the name)

Okey… now samus is scaning the panels to freed fox and the pirates are heading for her location,

Fox: would you hurry up?!

Peppy: hooo…where i am?..

Samus: Calm donw…i’m watching i nice scaned cartoon here…

Fox: WHAT THE…!! SAMUS LOOK BEHIND YOU!! (my gang tell this to me all the time…)

Samus: Huh? what?

(metroid combat music star playning)

PIRATE 1(translated): GET HER!!

PIRATE 2:Are you crazy? lets just call a torizo and get a hell outa here!

PIRATE 1(translated): DAMIT I AM A RED COLORED PIRATE, I JUST GET KILLED BY PLASMA BEAMS, YOU ARE A NON COLORED PIRATE YOU ARE KILLED BY ANY WEAPON THAT MEANS THA I AM YOUR SUPERI… hey where is everbody?

Fox: Dang they leaving with my ship!!

Peppy:My one too

PIRATE1: Hoh no…those were research items…now im very screwed up…

Samus:You got that right screw him with the screw atack

(sudently a timer apears on samus visor)

Samus:Hoh no i shouldn’t killed him…now the auto-destruction sequence is on!

Fox: auto what?

Peppy: Hey i hearded of those… is how the hystory of metroid get done all the time over and over again, the auto destruction sistems are problably the most important issues on the metroid series…

Fox: Is there any cancel button?

Samus: Cancel button? can we cancel a auto destruction sistem?

Fox: (geeez…)

(the visor of samus…or adan…or whatever what warn samus all the time, start pointing a trajetory of colision with a planet-thing called Dream Land (as we all know thanks to smash bross melee zebes is very near of dream land)

Samus: Ho-ho, we got more problems to worry!

Fox:i still trying to figure out WHY HELL I’M STILL ON THIS CAGE!!

(the lasers of the cage and all the eletronic equipments of the base turns off in the exactly moment that fox is freaking out)

Fox: Huh?

Samus: Look above! we’re saved!!

Kirby: Hey do guys want a ride or what?

Fox: Yheaa!! i never though i could be happy to see that plagiator again!

Peppy: We’re saved!! we’re saved!!

Samus: We lost our ships but we are saved…

Kirby: Here we GOOO!!! (luckly mario isn’t here to beat me when i say this)

*And that is the beautfull end, ok they losed their ships but is better than die… aaaand on dream land they may think on a way to get help,so is no big deal :smiley:

54

Roffle. Randomness is funny.

All: Oh no, we’re all going to die!
Kirby: I’ll save you!
All: YAAAYYY!!

the end

That was pretty funny. Anyway, like I said, I was just pointing those things out: not everything has to be consistent.

Roffle, just noticed the screws him with a screw attack thing… LOL!! I doubt any of them have ANY idea just how many double meanings that can have…

And now:

Peppy, Fox, Samus, and Kirby are all riding on the Warpstar towards Pop Star (the place dream land is located on)

Samus: So how does this thing work, anyways? And how come the fox and the hare there can still breathe?

Kirby: It’s called a warpstar! It uses a combination of Premium-grade gasoline and magic dust, maybe even a couple of drugs in this model, I dunno… the salesman seemed a little shady… anyways. It projects a magic bubble around us, so we don’t die in space.

Fox: Wow… nice view. I mean, I’ve seen it from my Arwing, but… having such an unrestricted view…

Samus: With about a millimetre of an unknown, completely nonunderstood substance protecting you from a cold painful death by asphyxiation…

Fox: …you really know how to kill a mood, you know that?

Warpstar: Vrrrrrr… PUTT PUTT PUTT PUTT PUTPTTOIEPUTPUTT

Peppy: Oh no… what’s happening?!

Kirby: Oh crap! I knew I forgot something! We’re out of gas!

Fox: Anyone know a good petrol starstation around here?

Pop Star takes them into it’s gravity well in a spiraling-downwards course

Fox: This… is bad, right?

Samus: So I’m guessing.

Kirby: Yes it is… once we reach the atmosphere, the magic bubble will collapse and instead of dying a cold painful death by asphyxiation we’ll die a hot firey burning death by burniness!

Samus: … that’s not a word.

Kirby and Fox: …you really know how to kill a mood, you know that?

Peppy: Any way out of this?

Kirby: Not that I can see…

Fox: Wait! My staff!

Samus: What about it?!

Fox: It can project an energy barrier that’s completely impenetrable! Well, except for nuclear explosions, but I only take a couple of burns from those… the downside is I can’t move while I’m using it and if there’s a surface below me there’s no protection from the bottom.

Samus: So if we jump out of the warpstar…

Kirby: Then start ourselves moving in a downwards orbit…

Fox: … Then finish each other’s sentences…

Peppy: …Then activate the force field…

All: IT JUST MIGHT WORK! anime pose

Samus: Wait… what did we just do?

Kirby: …I think Jetman123 wanted to not only poke fun at the invulnerabilityness of Fox’s shield from Adventures but the sometimes-ridicoulous way of speaking in Japanese animation.

All but Kirby: Oh. I see.

Samus: Wait… who’s Jetman123?

Kirby: I dunno…

Samus: But then he… and you… and he… then how could you have… and he… details… and you… then you… and… how… buh… guh… AUGH!!! MY BRAIN IS BLEEDING!!!

Fox: MINE TOO!!!

Peppy: What are you youngsters talking about?! That happens to me every day!

All: …

Peppy: … What?

TO BE CONTINUED

Sorry for stealing your plotline, but I wanted to continue it for a couple of episodes :smiley:. Hope you don’t mind. (If you do I’ll happily delete the thing)

55

LOL, do I hear a Sprite-Comic in the works?

Seriously, thats a good, random idea for one…

(Steals idea…)

(Starts Sprite-Comic based off of that idea.)

56

NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOO- deep breath-OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOO!!!

THE APOCALYPSE IS UPON ME!! READY THE COPYRIGHT GUNS!!! HERE IS WHERE I SHALL MAKE MY FINAL STAND AGAINST THE EVILNESS OF PLAGIARISM!!!

…

Roffle.

I honestly don’t care even if you were serious. To tell you the truth… I’d like to see a sprite comic about that! LOL!

57

Uhhh, who were you talking to? Because I didn’t make a joke…

58

Dark Samus said that to Knuckle’s joke.

ARRR!! THERE BE MORE JOKES!!

The clipboard has finally, miracoulously been fixed.
All: Whew!
Samus: For a moment I was living a nightmare…
Director: Yeah… OKAY, BACK TO WORK, YOU SLACKERS!!!

METROID FUSION OPENING SEQUENCE
TAKE 1

Samus: begins monologue "I’d been assigned to watch over Biologic’s research team, so I once again found myself on the surface of SR388. It was there that I was attacked by a life-form I had never encountered before. It was only later that I learned the identity of my attacker: the parasitic organism we now know as Jack Thompson.
Director: CUT!! I HATE HIM TOO, BUT YOU KNOW YOUR LINES, SAMUS!!

METROID FUSION OPENING SEQUENCE
TAKE 2

Tech Guy: I’d been assigned to watch over Biologic’s research team so I once again found myself on the surface of SR388. It was there that I was attacked by a life-form I had never encountered before. It was only later that I learned the identity of my attacker: the parasitic organism we now know as X. Unaware of my condition, I was returning to the station when disaster struck.
Director: thinking Alright! I think we’ve finally got it! Hey… hold on a second…
Tech Guy: Once the X had infested my central nervous system, I lost consciousness and my ship drifted into an asteroid belt. The ship’s emergency systems automatically ejected the escape pod before impact. Biologic’s ves-
Director: CUT!! TECH GUY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?!
Tech Guy: Samus told me to cover for her while she went on a break…

METROID FUSION OPENING SEQUENCE
TAKE 2

Samus: I’d been assigned to destroy all of the Metroids, so I found myself on the surface of SR388. It was there that I was attacked by a life-form I had never encountered before. It was only later that I learned the identity of my attacker: the parasitic organism we now know as a Metroid. Unaware of my condition, I was returning to the station when disas-
Director: CUT!! THAT’S METROID 2, NOT METROID FUSION!!
Samus: D’oh!! I knew I grabbed the wrong script!
Director: Wait… that sounds like a blend of Metroid 2 and Fusion. Gimmie that! snatches script Aha! This script’s been modified!
Samus: But who would do that?
Director: Notices a drawing in the lower-right corner of the third page that is of one of the Stage Hands throttling the director Oh staaaayyygeeee haaaaaannnnddd…
Stage Hand: Ulp…

moments later

Stage Hand: flies through window AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
inhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallleee HHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HH- SICKENING SPLAT!!
Samus: Note to self: Do not slack off again.
Tech guy: mutters Ya got that right…

METROID FUSION OPENING SEQUENCE
Take 3

Samus: I’d been assigned to watch over Biologic’s research team so I once again found myself on the surface of SR388. It was there that I was attacked by a life-form I had never encountered before. It was only later that I learned the identity of my attacker: the parasitic organism we now know as Mega Man X. Unaware of my condition, I was returning to the station when disaster struck. Once Mega Man X had infested my central nervous system, I lost conci-
Director: CUT!! Samus, I am officially confiscating your SNES and your Mega Man X game cartridge. You’ve been playing those things way too much, and beleive me, it shows!
Samus: But it’s so addictive! I’ll go into gameplay widthdrawal!

METROID FUSION OPENING SEQUENCE
TAKE 4

Samus: Pondering this fact, I realize… I owe the Metroid hatchling my life not once, but twice. I’d been assigned to watch over Biologic’s research team so I once again found myself on the surface of SR388. It was only later that I learned the identity of my attacker: the parasitic organism we now know as X. It was there that I was attacked by a life-form I had never encountered before. Once the X had infested my central nervous system, I lost consciousness and my ship drifted into an asteroid belt. Unaware of my condition, I was returning to the station when disaster struck. Biologic’s vessel recovered it and transported me to Galactic Federation HQ. The ship’s emergency systems automatically ejected the escape pod before impa-
Director: CUUUUTT!! YOU’VE GOT THE LINES MIXED UP!!
Samus: D’oh!

5 TAKE
SEQUENCE OPENING FUSION METROID

Director: CUT!! FIX THAT CLIPBOARD!!

METROID FUSION OPENING SEQUENCE
TAKE 6

Samus: Takes 6 apples and eats them
Director: CUT!! WHY’D YOU DO THAT?!
Samus: It SAID take 6…

METROID FUSION OPENING SEQUENCE
TAKE CAKE

Samus: Takes cake and eats it
Director: CUT! Let me guess… it SAID take cake…
Tech assistant: hiding in the corner sniggering

METROID FUSION OPENING SEQUENCE
TAKE 7

Samus: WOOHOO! LUCKY NUMBER SEVEN! We HAVE to get it right this time! Right? Right?
Cameraman: … We’re rolling…
Samus: D’oh!!

METROID FUSION OPENING SEQUENCE
TAKE 8

Samus: … However, during the journey, the X multiplied within me, corrupting large areas of my Power Suit. It then came to light that the organic components of my Power Suit had become so integrated with my system that it could not be removed while I was a moron. Large portions of my suit had-
Director: CUT! WHO’S BEEN MESSING WITH THE SCRIPT AGAIN?!

METROID FUSION OPENING SEQUENCE
TAKE 9

Quick Man:I’dbeenassignedtowatchoverBiologic’sresearchteamsoIonceagainfound
myselfonthesurfaceofSR388itwastherethatIwasattackedbya-
Director: CUT!! QUICK MAN, THIS IS THE METROID SET, NOT THE MEGA MAN ONE!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN NINTENDO’S BUILDING?!
Quick Man: Ithoughtthisscriptlookedstrange…

METROID FUSION OPENING SEQUENCE
TAKE 10

Samus: DOUBLE DIDGETS! WOOHOO!!! Wait… did I just…?
Director: … Cut…

METROID FUSION OPENING SEQUENCE
TAKE 11

Fox McCloud: I’d been assigned to watch over the Cornerian Army research team so I once again found myself on the surface of Sauria. It was there that I was attacked by a life-form I had never encountered before. It was only later that I learned the identity of my attacker: the parasitic organism we now know as an Aparoid. I was-
Director: FOX, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU HERE?!! THIS IS THE METROID SET!!
Fox: Samus asked me to-
Director: -cover for her. So I guessed. NOW GET OFF THE SET!!

METROID FUSION OPENING SEQUENCE
TAKE 12

Samus: "I’d been assigned to watch over Biologic’s research team so I once again found myself on the surface of SR388. It was there that I was attacked by a life-form I had never encountered before. It was only later that I learned the identity of my attacker: the parasitic organism we now know as The Director. Wait… what the?!
Director: CUT!! Oh staaayygeee haaaayyynnnddd…
Stage Hand: Oh crap… how did you find out?! Wait… did I just… oh crap…
Director: Slow, wicked grin forms

METROID FUSION OPENING SEQUENCE
TAKE 13

Samus: I’d been assigned to watch over Biologic’s research team so I once again found myself on the surface of SR388. It was there th- Stage light falls and crushes Samus
Director: CUT!! WHAT HAPPENED?!
Tech assistant: It’s unlucky take number 13! Giant XBox falls from ceiling and crushes Tech Assistant
Director: Crap. Is crushed by giant GameCube

MORE TO COME!! SADLY…

(Note: I’m not superstitous: I don’t think 13’s an unlucky number. It’s just a joke and does not reflect myself.)

59

blankly stares at Jetman

60

LOL.
That was hillarious, Jetman.
How could you not laugh at that joke Metroid Fanatic?