Metroid fan story competition

I thought that we could have a competition where you write a story, and the readers vote on whos is best we could make it so you have until the end of the month to vote or finish your short storie. i haven’t finished mine yet so be prepared for more if you find it interesting. This is also a great oppertunity to get some constructive critisism if you are going to post your story on the internet. Winner will be chosen at the end of april.

Here is my storyso far:

Metroid Revolution

A vast stretch of space.Nothing is more quiet than space. Space was always dead silent, untill species of humanoids began constructing orbital stations and started cruising the great void of silence with their battleships. One of these races was the chozo. An extremely technologically advanced race of birdlike creatures. The chozo created extreme wonders of tecnology capable of things so extroardinary, they could not be described.

The chozo inhabited the peaceful planet of zebes where they built monstrous temples filled with many misterious artifacts. The chozo were a race of peace, they didn't believe in violence and war. Another race of humanoids were the the space pirates. Under the rule of the mother brain, they raided ships and stole their goods. The space pirates were less technologically advanced than the chozo, but they made up what they lacked by using violence and slaughtering all who stood in their way. When they found out about the wondrous marvels of the chozo's technology, they grew jealous that the chozo were more advanced. 	

The pirates sent a full fledged attack on zebes, slaughtering any chozo that pleaded for mercy. The chozo were forced to call upon their equally advanced allies, the luminoth. The luminoth fought back bravely, but alas, they could not save their allies doomed planet. During the invasion, a dying chozo elder made a prophecy that one day a warrior would rise and save them all.Only half of the prophecy came true.

    The remaining chozo spread out to seek a hidden planet that could become their new homeworld. One chozo found a planet and began to investigate. As the chozo was searching, he came across a wrecked colony. This was the work of space pirates. The chozo began to search the rubble to see if there were any survivors, when he came across a terrified little girl huddling in between some rocks. The chozo decided to take in the frightened child and give her a home. There he thought what to do, and he came to a conclusion. He would fulfill as much of the prophecy as he could. 

He would train the girl to become their warrior. He knew the chozo were doomed, but when he died, he knew he died honorably. The trained girl, now an adult clad in the most powerful armor and technology known went out to avenge the extinction of the chozo, and her family who died in the colony when it was attacked by space pirates. That day that the girl left, she became Samus Aran the bounty hunter, and she had a mission.

   Over the years samus had many dangerous and mysterious missions. She had had to fight the evil mother brain twice, and her henchmen various times. She had to endure her journey into SR388 and destroy all the metroid species. She had to face an exact copy of a heartless species only to fall into an other wearying journey.

   During the time that Samus was recovering from her fight with the omega metroid, the space pirates had set up a research station in orbit around oscilon 0342. Once again they were up to their foul plans of studying and mutating metroids. They had recently learned how to handle corrupton, an orange colored version of phazon. They were just receiving a shipment of corrupton from Tallon IV's crater, when the detection system went off. They checked the radar and saw a lone ship heading for them. They were under attack!

Basically, you’re just retelling Metroid…

Well, I’ll submit the full Metroid Nebulus Trilogy. However, it’ll be long. Extremely long. Long enough to fit a book.

It’ll take a while for me to type a book. Don’t expect me to enter for a while :slight_smile:

actually the the beggining just tells about how samus ends up into a mission aboard an abandoned gf lab ship.The story basically explains my fan don’t need to type a book, you can submit part each month, it has to be good though if you want to win.

Here’s what I have so far. To understand the story, you must know atleast some of MPH, and you need to know the basic idea of Nebulus. Well, here’s what I have so far:

Samus was in her ship, on her way back from the Alimbic Cluster; With the Omega Cannon. As she was restocking her supplies, she received a message, from Spire:

Samus, I know that the Cannon is in safe hands, but I was wondering? if I could use it to learn about my past?

Samus sent a reply; reading that she would go to Ceres Station and give the Cannon to scientists, who would study it. If there were any results, she?s send it to Spire.

Samus sent the Cannon to Ceres Station, and as she was leaving, something terrible happened?
Space Pirates infiltrated the ship, in hopes of stealing the Omega Cannon. They attacked Samus, with her unpowered suit. She saw the Pirates search the ship for the Cannon; but they didn?t know that it was in Ceres.

A strange gravitational pull dragged the ship towards an eye-disturbing planet. As she crashed, Samus saw a strange, massive creature?

She scanned it; and learned that this creature was known as Antharg.

Who was he? And what was he doing on this strange planet?

Suddenly, Meta Ridley appeared from the blurry sky.

It seemed that Antharg was giving a blue container to Ridley for something in return; Suddenly, Samus remembered Noxus, and how she said.

“Friezha, one of my kind, has become mutated by a blue, dangerous weapon called Nebula. Before this weapon is spread and mutates others, we must destroy it”

The blue container that Antharg held was most likely “Nebula”. Samus, weakened from the crash, couldn’t attack Ridley and Antharg; her weapons were malfunctioning.

So, Samus had no choice, but to sneak into Ridley’s base. She overheard Antharg saying that he would give the Nebula for the Space Pirates to join his army. Samus had to destroy the Nebula, before the Pirates, and this “army” would threaten the galaxy.

As she finally found the container of Nebula, Ridley appeared. With no choice but to fight, Samus attacked Ridley with her Power Beam and Missles, which she collected on her journey in the base.

Surprisingly, Ridley was taking damage. Samus greatly weakened Ridley, but suddenly, a time bomb was set. Samus quickly evacuated the area.

However, the Twin Fever was causing Samus to lose control of her ship. She crashed onto UP-001, where “Friezha” was located.

The ship was completely destroyed. It sunk down into a blue substance, and dissappeared. Samus didn’t dare touch the blue liquid.

Samus soon realized that she was in an area called Gorflash Labs, and in it, was another Nebula-mutated creature.

She went into the Laboratory, collecting new weapons, and defeating more enemies,
until she finally confronted Gorflash.

Gorflash’s face was halfway covered by a heavy metal plating; the other half was bloddy and unprotected. Samus aimed at that weak spot, until Gorflash couldn’t stand any more attacks.

The explosion of Gorflash was so intense, that the entire laboratory was destroyed. Samus evacuated, and found a Wave Beam as she left the Labs, and entered the Friezha Mountain Range.

This place was extremely cold, and luckily, Samus survived the Sub-Zero area with her Varia Suit. Samus sent a message to Noxus, saying that the mutated Vho, Friezha, was most likely hiding in this mountain range.

However, Samus recieved no reply…

Samus assumed Noxus dead, and had to continue on to destroy Friezha.

Once again, Samus ventured through the icy caves and dark tunnels. At last, her visor was detecting large amounts of Nebula- Friezha had to be near…

Once Samus saw Friezha, she immediately noticed her weakness; (which I won’t tell)
Samus suddenly froze in her tracks; as Friezha hurled a massive ball of Ice at Samus.

The Varia Suit of Samus began to malfunction. Her VCU upgrade, (Varia Cooling Unit) automatically began to function. Samus was dying; she was in a ball of ice, without a Varia Suit, and on top of that, a VCU was freezing her even more.

Friezha, thinking Samus was dead, let her guard down. All of a sudden, Spire jumped out of the snow, and using the Magmaul, he melted the ice around Samus. He attacked Friezha, finishing the job that Samus had started.

Spire carried Samus’s still frozen body out of the Mountain range to Magmortis Caverns. At last, Samus was revived.

Samus recieved a strange message from Ceres Station:


That was all that was said. Samus tried to contact the Station, but there was no response.

Spire sighed. His last hope of unlocking his mysteries were gone.
He teamed with Samus, instead, and decided to help defeat her foes.

Samus was about to enter the doorway, when Spire found something. A green clothed elf, who was lying on the ground, was in pain. He called himself Link. and said that he followed his enemy, Volvagia, towards this area.

Samus went to destroy Volvagia, as Spire stayed with Link.

When Samus saw a massive, red dragon, she assumed it was Volvagia; but, it was actually Magmortis. Samus scanned him, and as soon as she realised that her foe was Magmortis, she began to chase him.

Magmortis, being cowardly, called upon Volvagia to “do his dirty work”.

All of a sudden, Link appeared, and decided to take on Volvagia himself. As that was taken care of, Samus went back to chasing Magmortis.

Finally, both fights were over. However, there were no signs of Spire.
When Samus went to the entrance of the Caverns, she saw Spire, dead. In blood, the word “Molorum” was written on a cavern wall.

Samus was shocked. All remaining hunters were slaughtered by Gorea, and now “Molorum”. Samus was next.

And, what about Antharg, the one behind this entire plot? What could he be up to?

Link finally decided to leave; his purpose in the Caverns was over. He played a tune on his ocarina, and dissappeared.

Samus soon realized that all of Antharg’s Generals were destroyed. She went to the Neblolactic Core, to destroy the main evil himself.

She got there from a strange blue portal; and when she came out of it, her ship was next to her; repaired…

Someone had to be nearby…

At last, she saw Antharg. Without thinking, she immediately attacked him.

A huge fight commenced, and Samus was dying.
Just as Samus was about to burned in Nebula, Antharg froze in his tracks.

Noxus fired at Antharg! She wasn’t dead after all!

Both worked together to destroy the massive menace. However, he clutched both in his fists, and threw both down a huge pit of Nebula.

Samus quickly Grappled onto Antharg’s shoulder, but she couldn’t help Noxus, as she helplessly fell onto the deadly pit below…

As Noxus fell, she had just enough time to gather up her energy to release a massive blast at Antharg. As she burned in the scorching Nebula, Samus could see her hand, waving a farewell at Samus.

Samus didn’t realise that Antharg was still alive; or she thought so:

The final blast from Noxus ripped off Antharg’s left shoulder, as it hurled into his face and smashed his visor.

When Samus took a close look at Antharg, she was shocked; the suit was hollow; Nobody was inside!

Well, about 30% of the storyline is complete. I’ll add more later. Right now, my fingers hurt. XD

i added more of the story.

Well mine is a prologue and it’s in the fangames section.

April 3rd:you can copy and paste it here.

April 6th:anybody want to be the manager of the competotion?I need to think up prises.

if i had my scanner runing fine, i could send u guys MY HISTORY, ooohh… i just have to wait…

I can be the manager of the competition. I could set up a place at RE42D.

anyone here knows how to make a LTP paralel port work? i just need to do this and i’ll be read to join the competition!

Here is mine:

              On planet XT-621 the federation went to investigate the planet and see if it was safe enough for some of the humans to live there because earth has no more room on earth.Before they went to the planet they hired a Bounty Hunter to go with them to help them be safe.Samus wanted to go but they thought since she didn't let them go on the B.S.L to capture the SA-X they wouldn't take her.So they hired Samus's Cousin John Aran.He is older,more experienced,son of the guy who created the federation suit,and son of the worlds famous actress.John's uncle was Samus's dad.Samus has never met John or seen John until now.

                                      "Federation Logbook"

             Day 1    Wensday April 19 21X5
                       Today we found dead space pirates but we found two living things.A metroid and a x-parisite.The x-parisite infected John and we brought him back to the camp.We also wondered why there was a metroid here if all the metroid got exterminated before.We captured that metroid.Once we captured it we had to abort the mission because John got infected.
            Day 2 Thursday April 20 21X5
              Today John was about to pass out but we gave him a special medicine called Heroine.It did'nt kill the x-parisite but it made John live longer.When we go back to earth we asked Samus for a cure because she got infected to but lived.Samus told them make him at least be able to breath for a year because i'm going to planet XT-621 to find a cure.

            Day 3 Friday April 21 21X5 
             Samus has left to go to XT-621 and John is still unconscoius so we are going to visit anothor planet for a cure just in case Samus doesn't have one.So we are going to XT-782(The brother planet of XT-621)and other federation crew members will watch John.
            Day 4 Saturday April 22 21X5
            We are now at XT-782 and looking for a cure.We saw plants with medicine in it so the scientist are going to study them to see if it can cure John.Look Sylux!Sylux turned around and saw us.We started running and...

             This logbook was found on XT-782 from a federation member in the crew that lived.
                                                Metroid XT

I forgot to tell you this might be a good game to make as a fangame.If you want to do it for me or teach me how to use the game maker to help me make this into a fangame i will aprieciate that

Well, it’s good, but I don’t think you’ll find anyone who wants to help with your fangame here. try SCU.

Don’t double post!

Anyways, I wouldn’t be opposed to helping out (judging, managing, or whatever)
What did you have in mind for prizes.

read what I said that nobody replied too.

The GFS Tyr screamed through the void of space, engines flaring with plasma, propelling the ship forwards at speeds that would have been insane within an atmosphere but were all but possible in the airless vaccum. Laser-directed plasma bolts lanced out from the troopship’s numerous turrets, cutting angry red trails through the blackness as the sleek vessel chased the blocky Space Pirate freighter just a hundred meters ahead of it. The poorly-defended freighter’s shields flared as the plasma bolts lashed furiously across them, the generators inside the vessel stuttering and whining with the massive strain that was being placed upon them as engineers tried in vain to soothe the failing machinery. The few turrets it had operational returned fire rather pathetically, the shots either flying wildly out into empty space or bouncing harmlessly off the electromagnetic shield that stubbornly protected the Tyr.

“We were on a routine reconnasaince mission when we spotted a Space Pirate freighter near Aether… we gave chase immediately.”

The troopship returned fire on the freighter, plasma fire lancing out in yet another volley to rake across the freighter’s hull in the absence of the overloaded and failed shields. One of the secondary engines flared and died in a magnificent plume of flames, sending the freighter into a slight roll that was quickly - but barely - corrected. Inside the freighter there was chaos - Space Pirate technitians sprawled dead on the ground, their carapaces cracked wide open by falling debris and shrapnel or others incinerated under the explosions of the overloaded equipment. Commanders barked orders, trying and failing to maintain control over the situation as their crippled vessel fell apart around them - even the small command crew itself was panicking.

Under the Tyr’s barrage they should have been long dead, but one observing the battle with a close eye would tell that the nimble troopship was attempting to disable the already crippled Space Pirate freighter rather than destroy it - carefully calculated bursts of weapon fire targetted only what they needed to, skimming off nothing but the turrets, the field projectors, the engines. Even as the two battling ships screamed into Aether’s gravity well another engine exploded in a shower of debris that spewed out of the back - this time one of the primrary ones. The Tyr’s weapon fire abruptly ceased as the freighter went into a spin from which it would never recover, venting flames from multiple points of the hull as the mortally wounded freighter tumbled into the grip of Aether’s gravity, the Tyr following closely. The battle was over - the freighter was disabled, likely never to take wing again.

“The freighter was disabled and started to plunge into the atmosphere.”

“Sir, that’s it.” The pilot of the Tyr reported calmly in his seat at the front of the armored cockpit of the vessel. “That freighter is never flying again.”
“They’re tumbling into the gravity well…” Captain A. Exeter of Bravo squad of the Galatic Federation army, Third Company, muttered to himself.
“Yes, sir… I don’t know if they’ll survive reentry.”
“Get us close - follow them down. I want you to salvage them before they hit the atmosphere if possible, but I’ll be content if you can just get us down there.”
“Yes, sir.”

“We followed them.”

The freighter continued it’s unstoppable plunge into the gravity well of Aether, fire starting to build up around the prow of the ship as it tumbled into the outer reaches of the atmophere. The Tyr followed close by, though with it’s nose straight and proud rather than erratically rolling through the flames. Within seconds they had decended into the toxic-purple, strangely shifting atmosphere of the planet, as the Tyr followed the plunging craft through it’s erratic dive, pushing past the purple clouds with ease. Lightning flashed, electricity forking from the strange clouds to the ground that was far below, out of sight in the strangely poisoned place. From the cockpit of the Tyr the plunging Space Pirate freighter dissapeared from view in the toxic fog as lightning flashed downwards, straight towards the silver and grey roof of the main cabin.

“Our ship was hit by lightning during the… de…cent, and we lost one of the primrary engines. We limped to the ground and… made an emergency landing.”

The Tyr’s smoking, sleek form, tainted by soot from where the dirty atmosphere had depositied some of it’s limitless load of grime, coupled with the direct lightning hit it has suffered, limped slowly downwards, the pilot struggling to maintain control with only one engine and most of the anti-gravs offline. The wings retracted and rotated, pointing upwards, revealing the long gash on the underside of the once-polished surface. The vessel had a large hole that the lightning had punched in their hull as if it were paper, causing a trooper to be sucked out into the atmosphere and left to plummet to his death and another to be killed by deadly fragments from the breach.

The troopship wobbled slightly, it’s engines coughing and sputtering, and threatened to capsize. The pilot fought against the roll, just managing to keep the wobbling, sick, once-proud vessel upright for the last few feet of the decent. Finally the landing struts touched down, and the pilot slapped off the engines with a sigh of releif. The engine that was still operational spluttered and died quietly. Captain Exeter, who had been sitting stoically behind the pilot all this time in the shielded cockpit, watching it all unfold with the calmness of a veteran, stood up abruplty and tapped the control that opened the sealed door that seperated the cockpit from the main hold. His squad, donned in their silvery-grey armor and sky-blue faceplates, were already on their feet and checking each other for wounds, others priming and checking their built in ion-projectile cannons. “Troopers.” He said quietly, and the activity ceased as the troopers looked to their commander.

“Here is what we’re going to do.”

"We split into two groups, one to guard and try to repair - or cannibalize - the… T-Tyr… and… the other to set up a communications base where we could hopefully send off a distress… gah… a… distress signal - the Tyr[i] wasn’t flying again.

"Everything was going fine…

“Until they came.”[/i]


The troopers of the Tyr had worked efficiently, the seven or so remaining troopers in Force One, the group assigned to watch over and attend to the Tyr, having set up a makeshift camp, cannibalizing parts from their ship and using the spare parts in the storage bay to set up a makeshift computer terminal, sensors, and comms boosters along the perimeter. They had rationed and accounted for their ammunition, rations, and water - this planet didn’t have plentiful supplies of any of them, and they were probably here for a long stay. They had been faced with attacks from the indigenous “splinters” that were extraordinarily numerous on the planet, hives and hibernation sacs around every corner. They had already been here for a day, and things were tough, but nothing that a squad of Galactic Federation troopers couldn’t handle.

The Tyr had landed next to a cliff, it’s prow just five meters away from the rocky wall. The cliff itself was about eight meters high, jutting out from a still bigger cliff that towered above it, and the Tyr itself, unaccessible. Between the top of the first cliff and the face of the second, there was three meters of standing room - the perfect place for a sentry and a sniper, and Bravo squad had taken advantage of this opportunity. It was joked about among the men that whoever volunteered for the position was a coward, volunteering to stay up out of reach and shoot at enemies while the rest of them duelled in life-or-death close-range combat on the ground. Yet the safety was an illusion - behind the sentry’s back, behind the rocky wall of the second cliff, networks of interlinked tunnels lay, a lattice of splinter handiwork. Through the tunnels something crawled, gently scratching, clicking across rock, skittering through dirt.





“We never stood a chance.”

The soft beeping of the console turned into a crescendo of blaring alarms and flashing lights as the computer squealed a warning to it’s masters, yellow alerts from a multitude of sources lighting up it’s screen. Instantly the Captain dashed over to the console and skidded to a halt, kicking up a small cloud of dust as the boot of his armor caught the dirt in the ground. His eyes instantly flashed over the panel.

Before he could so much as say a word a garangutan crash split the scene in two, a hail of rocks bursting out from a breach in the wall of the second cliff itself, the sentry poised on top of the first cliff’s top recoiling in shock and surprise from the explosion, his foot slipping and making him lose his balance, nearly falling off the ledge. The Captain glanced up at the disturbance, his built in ion-projectile weapon flying up to train itself on the breach in the rock. He looked up as he saw a private that was posted on top of the Tyr’s roof look down at the squad as his weapon’s report filled the space around them, joined within seconds by the sentry on the cliff’s gun, and then another, and then another, as the private yelled down in a panic:

"They’re closing in fast! I need backup! I NEED BACKUP!!"

The squad opened fire collectively on the breach in the cliff wall, bullets sheathed in damaging ion fields lancing out with a withering volley of fire at whatever was attacking them, the Captain struggling to make out what was beyond the breach. The sentry on the cliff was recoiling in horror even as he fired, and the Captain swore he could see the terrified expression behind his opaque visor. Dammit, what was happening up there?

Then, he saw them: pitch-black, quadrupedal, spiderlike, carapased monsters, two feet tall, as two of them launched themselves out of the breach in the cliff wall directly at the hapless sentry, a piercing, sonic cry reverberating from somewhere within the glittering black carapace. The sentry never stood a chance, a scythed leg whipping out from the creature’s body and slicing through the armor across the trooper’s chest, cutting into the soft flesh underneath. The trooper screamed with pain behind his visor, his weapon firing erratically into the stone by his feet, blood splashing out of the deep wound even as more of the creatures started to swarm over him.

Captain Exeter had observed all of this with a cold, calm glare, never breaking his aim or his fire at the strange black creatures, his troopers still keeping up a relentless barrage of fire at the amorphous mass of black that was now pouring out of the breach in the wall, skittering down the first cliff and towards the Tyr. This wasn’t working, the Captain saw immediately - the ionized shots were bouncing off the carapace, only precious few even barely penetrating. One of the creatures flipped down off the cliff and landed delicately, kicking up a small cloud of dust from it’s needle-thin legs. Now that one of the creatures was closer, he got a better look - it was a splinter, as far as he could tell, but a horribly mutated one, with a hardened carapace, faster motion, different coloration, and even more deadly legs, with scythed, possibly monomolecular tips.

Exeter backpedaled as he fired, sidestepping as the perversion of a splinter let out a piercing roar and flung itself forward towards Exeter, turning itself sideways so that it’s deadly legs were prepared to skewer whatever was in their path. A flurry of shots coughed out of the Captain’s weapon, ricocheting off the ground and the armor of the splinter as it turned to charge at him again. Around him the combat was joined, the members of his squad firing rapidly and efficiently at the mass of black swarming down over the cliff, with varying degrees of effectiveness. He saw out of the corner of his eye two carapaces crack open, the creatures that owned them shuddering and letting out a primal shreik before collapsing to the ground. A trooper lobbed a grenade into the middle of the group, sending the creatures flying in every direction yet only inflicting wounds to a few.

One of the creatures reared up on it’s legs before doing a flipping hop to the top of the disabled form of the Tyr. The young trooper who had been previously firing down at the mob that was approaching stepped backwards in shock. He swung his weapon around, but the creature let out a subsonic cry before violently spitting a glob of acid that sailed in an arc before landing with a wet squelch on the trooper’s visor. He stumbled in a panic as steam began to rise, the acid eating through the blue glass of the visor. His world erupted into pain as the acid dripped into his eyes, burning them, blinding him instantly as he let out a cry of shock and agony. The creature seized it’s opportunity, launching itself from the metal roof of the ship. One of the scythed tips plunged through the trooper’s heart, punching through the armor as if it were paper.

Even as another trooper fired desperately at the mass of splinters swarming towards the Tyr from the ground, he stepped backwards in panic and fear as the mob started to close around him. He let out a cry of horror as one leapt forward and wrapped it’s scythes around his weapon, severing the barrel instantly. In a blind panic, he reached blindly for his combat knife in it’s holster, managing to get it three inches out of it before two more of the splinters slammed into his torso, overbalancing him and knocking him onto the ground as his arms windmilled. He felt more on his legs, more on his abdomen, and the last thing he felt before the splinter on his chest reared it’s body and plunged a scythe bloodily through his cranium was the mob of splinters swarming over his lower body.

The Captain watched two of his men fall under the onslaught with grim determination. This fight was being lost. He’d already lost nearly half of the squad and there were far too many of the grotesteque, mutated splinters for them to fight. He whirled, dodging one of the black splinters as it flung itself towards him, plunging his unsheathed combat knife through the belly of another as it shreiked through the air towards him, killing it instantly even as he flung himself to the left to get himself out of the way of two globs of acid as they arced towards him.

Even as he did so, a trooper on the other side of the Tyr crumpled backwards against the landing strut of the troopship, his leg having been all but severed by a swipe at his feet as he desperately ran backwards, away from the living tide that was threatening to sweep him out to sea. He cried out in shock as his armor smacked against the armored strut, trying to bring his gun to bear on the mass of splinters sweeping in from everywhere in front of him. His eyes widened in shock as one of the creatures flung itself towards his torso, landing splayed on his chest before thrusting two scythed legs through the trooper’s chest, again punching through the armor as if it were nothing more than plastic. A fountain of blood gushed from around the monstrosity’s claws as the trooper screamed out even as the other splinters began to crawl over him and slice the trooper open hideously, all across his body. Just five feet behind him a mob of the splinters galloped up the open ramp into the Tyr’s exposed belly.

Now there were only two soldiers left - Captain Exeter and the first sergeant. The sergeant was just below the engine section as the black mass of splinters flooded around both sides of the Tyr, surrounding him from one side as he frantically stepped backwards. Like the Captain, he had his combat knife in his free hand, his built-in weapon firing rapidly at the mass of black that swarmed at him, spluttering fire relentlessly. Yet the rounds continued to barely penetrate and the creatures showed no pain and no hesitation - still they swarmed. The sergeant had used all of his grenades and was rapidly running out of ammunition, as his visor counter told him. A shreik took his attention and he looked to the right in a panic to see a black splinter sailing through the air towards him. He tried to throw himself to the side, but the splinter collided violently with the trooper’s helmet. His visor shattered under the impact, his eyes thankfully closed in reflex otherwise he would have been blinded. He yelled out as he felt a firey pain slash itself across his chest as the splinter that had collided with him dragged one of it’s hind legs across his torso, sawing through the armor with ease like they had done with so many others. The trooper collapsed to the ground, still yelling in pain as he tried vainly to bring his weapon to bear on something as it coughed into the sky. A sudden explosion ripped through the cavern and splinters flew everywhere, and a carefully placed round struck the splinter on top of the sergeant full-on, knocking it away.

Exeter still fought, throwing himself out of the way as the mass of black splinters spat acid at him and yet more flung themselves bodily at his torso, trying to slice his chest cavity wide open, but he would have none of that. He had placed the round and thrown the grenade - he was trying to draw the attention to himself and away from the crumpled sergeant on the ground. It had worked - they seemed to have left him alone as he lay near-lifelessly in the dirt. His weapon still coughed, spitting round after round at the hopeless mass of creatures, his knife in his other hand, slicing at the creatures that got too close. He tried to throw himself backwards to avoid a splinter flinging itself at him, but the was too slow, and the creature connected with his hand, the razor-sharp tip grazing his wrist and cutting into his flesh slightly. It was only a glancing hit, but the knife in his hand was knocked away even as he tried to stab at the creature. He muttered a curse and dipped his hand down for his pistol, the laser gun clearing it’s holster and snapping off a red shot at the splinter that had knocked the Captain’s knife away.

Suddenly he felt his foot catch on something, and down he went, firing relentlessly with his two weapons even as he crashed to the dirt on his side. He tried to push himself up, but one of the splinters from the amorphous mass that was uncomfortibly close to him reared up on it’s legs and flung itself bodily at him, pinning him to the dirt with it’s legs. He screamed, his resolve and calm demeanor finally shattered as the mob of splinters swarmed over him, covering him and drowning him in a smothering black mass before the many scythed legs finally ended his suffering.

It was over - Bravo Squad had lost.

The Dark Splinters savaged the Tyr for ten long minutes on their deadly raid, before they finally skittered away, satiated, to their home at the top of the cliff, where they paraded back into the tunnels, leaving the carnaged, bloody scene behind them. Yet even as the last of the many mutated creatures retreated into it’s home, the sergeant moaned with pain as he staggered to his feet. Blood poured out of the gash on his chest, dripping down his ruined armor as he brokenly staggered over to the beeping console by the side of the ship. He reached out to steady himself before he weakly pawed the console’s screen. The console blipped affirmatively as an audio log started, and the sergeant crumpled to the ground, exhausted, sweat pouring down his face, in the corner that the console and the Tyr’s hull itself formed.

“I’m dying… now… they cut me wide open… there’s… blood everywhere. I know I’m not going to survive… If anyone hears this recording… know that we did our duty… and fought well.”

The audio log cut off with a soft blip, and Samus looked over at the crumpled form of the Federation trooper, slumped against the wall of the console. His open eye that she could see was staring up sightlessly at the sky, perhaps at her, perhaps at the console… perhaps at nothing at all. Slowly, she knelt by the corpse, and reached out to slide two fingers into the shattered visor. She gently slid his eyes closed. Perhaps now he could get some rest…

She sighed as she got to her feet and looked at the carnage surrounding her.

“What a waste…”

I submit this. Here’s the original topic.

Coolman75 and Inspector88 can both be managers. for prizes i was thinking about something like a demo of someones fangame that can be played before it will normally be released or maybe a really well done collage of the winners choice.

Well, those both sound pretty cool… so… you pick. Or Inspecta can. XP

Those are good ideas. I have a couple questions though. Who would do the collage (If I did it would end up looking pretty bad.) Maybe one of us could try talking to DF to see if getting the the newest update early would be available for the prize. Also, I went through and counted the stories. I’m pretty sure that there are five. It seems that people have kind of forgotten about this though.